Don't eat the cupcakes!

Hello, my name is Phyl and I'm a chocoholic.

That's important to know. This Friday at school, after my last class of the day was over, I sat down (tired) at my desk and got to thinking how much I'd love a piece of chocolate.

Into my room came 2 adorable kindergarten boys, one wearing a birthday crown, both beaming as they held forth a tray with one vanilla cupcake, iced with thick chocolate icing and colorful sprinkles on top. It was the very last one, and they wanted me, Art Teacher, to have it. I thanked them, gave them stickers, and sent them on their way. I looked at the chocolate frosting and thought about what a bad idea it is to eat all the food that kids bring you.

And this time of year starts the worst (or best) of it, as anyone who works in an elementary school would know - holiday treats for each holiday from now till New Year's, with moms trying to outdo each other by sending in the cutest, sweetest, most gooey treats imaginable, enough for everyone in the class, plus the principal, the secretary, the music teacher, and of course, their favorite person, Art Teacher, who never says no to anything chocolate.

But do you really know if they are safe to eat? So you look at the kid, think about his clean (or not so clean) clothes and hair, and whether that reflects on what his home is like. And you know that by now all the kids in the class have eaten the cupcake, and nobody has died from them, but the truth is, really, you know you should NOT eat the cupcake. (Besides, I am having a lot of trouble trying to lose 10 pounds...)

So back to the cupcake with the chocolate frosting and sprinkles. My chocoholism was raging, the birthday boy looked shiny and clean, so I decided I'd take a bite off the top, get a mouthful of chocolate frosting to deal with my addiction, and toss the rest. I dove in, and got a big mouthful of chocolate, when the voice of a 5th grade teacher yelled from the hallway "PHYL!!!! DON'T EAT THE CUPCAKE!!!!!!" Uh oh....

Seems she had witnessed the boys DROP the cupcake, top side down, on the stair. Believe me, there's no "5 second-rule" for food dropped on elementary school stairs at the end of a full day of school. Playground dirt... need I say more?! She said to the boys, as they picked up the cupcake, "that's not OK to eat" and they said "yes it is!". I suppose she was in the hall on the way to pick up her kids at a special, or to make a copy or something , so it took a moment before she realized they were bringing the cupcake to ME. Hence, the lag time before she yelled her warning.

Needless to say, I did not swallow, and did not eat the rest. I did take a better look at the cupcake before throwing it away, close enough to see a piece of hair and some grit embedded between some sprinkles. Luckily I seem to have an iron stomach, and I'm alive and laughing and able to tell you this story.

I wish I could tell you it cured my addiction, but all this writing about chocolate has made me want some. I think maybe I'll go break into a bag of Halloween candy. After all, it's all wrapped, right?!